Love, lust and dating yourself.

Sometimes you reach a point in a relationship where things are out of your control. It is beyond frustrating. But listen, there is no point in putting all of your energy into something or someone that you cannot change. Focus on what you can change. Focus on the people in your life who want you there. Here are a few things I have taken from my most recent experience. I hope that by learning from the past I can better my relationships with others in the future. 

If you don’t love yourself, no one else will either. Everyone says it, but it is the number one rule you should keep in mind before entering a relationship. After all, how can you make someone else happy if you can’t even lift up yourself?

Don’t create problems where there aren’t any. Let’s be honest, there are many small things that happen on a daily basis that piss us off about other people. Some of which are larger issues and should be discussed in the proper setting. But in all truth, 90% of those little annoyances should be left unsaid. Get annoyed, take a deep breath, and move on. Five minutes later you will forget it even happened.

Don’t send messages or make calls when you are drunk, sad, angry, or jealous. This is always a mistake. ALWAYS.

Having separate lives outside of your mutual ties is crucial. Whether you are in a healthy relationship or just got thrown to the curb, having your own lives is beyond important. It makes the time you spend together more enjoyable, and ensures that when you are apart you can be happy and independent.

Don’t take technology into the bedroom. Once you hop into bed, shut down the computer, put away the phones, and just be. Otherwise, your bed becomes a game room or a movie theater instead of a place where you can both unwind and be intimate.

Have sex often. It makes for a much healthier relationship. Once the sex stops, so does your desire and passion for one another. The connection you get during sex is one that cannot be replaced by any other means of interaction.

Relationships, platonic or romantic, are meant to be formed with those who make you feel good. Don’t spend your time with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. Sounds simple but it happens all the time.

Have fun. Relationships are not meant to be serious all the time. But keeping that in mind, be with someone who is capable of being serious when you need them to be.

The little things matter.Not just within the first few months – always.

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